Learning to just BE.
Sometimes God calls you to be in a season that you don’t wanna be in. Or sometimes you want to be there with all your heart, but something still calls to you from somewhere else. What is it that causes us to be restless… striving to be anywhere that we’re not?
You know when someone goes on a trip and they come home only to hear, “Now she’s caught the travel bug and she’ll be off again soon”? Well… I’ve always been a home bug. Even when I travelled overseas for 6 months, I was glad to be home again when I returned. That’s not to say that I do not enjoy travel. In fact, I love it a lot! It’s just that I like to be in my own bed, knowing that my family is just a few steps away. I like dinner around the table together, cozy winter nights in front of the fire, listening to one of the family reading aloud, and being able to reach out and touch my family when talking. There’s something about the place in which one dwells that makes one feel safe and relaxed and… well… at home.
And so, my question to myself is a new one. If I love being at home so much, then why is it so hard to JUST BE AT HOME?
In fact, it’s more than that. It’s more like…
Why is doing less more difficult?
Why do I feel the need to be out there and busy?
Is my need for productivity greater than my desire to be in God’s will?
Am I driven by busyness or obedience?
Can I just lay down what’s expected of me so I can do ONLY what’s in front of me?
Why do I want to be there when I’m here and here when I’m there?
Is the grass always greener on the other side?
Do I carry the unsettledness inside of me, or is it just the place I find myself in?
Why is it so hard to JUST BE?
When I actually stop for a moment and think about those questions, I come up with one conclusion. Now, it’s not to say I have it all figured out because tomorrow my conclusion might be worlds away from this one… BUT from where I stand today these are the things that I see.
I see myself afraid.
Afraid of what I might find if I look too long into the depth of my heart. Afraid of becoming stagnant and not being willing to move when God says go. Afraid of the certain difficulties that come with sticking to anything for a long period of time. I get nervous when I think about all that lies before me and it would honestly just be easier to move on to the next thing… so…
I see my comfort being challenged.
When something is so beloved or even just familiar to me, my natural response is to keep it so. Keep it safe. Don’t let go. However, most times that response leads to an impossible struggle against an inevitable course of life… everything. changes. all. the time. It honestly never stops! The problem is that when I stay in one place I start to see change and am often part of that change. Don’t get me wrong, change is essential and even good! BUT…
I do not feel comfortable with the idea of my “familiar” being threatened.
I see a real spiritual battle.
Above all the others, this point is certainly the most crucial (PAY ATTENTION!).
When God calls you to a certain place, in a specific season or time in your life, there is always a reason. Let me say that again in case you missed my point…
THERE IS A REASON GOD TOLD YOU TO BE HERE!
When God speaks, he always means for us to listen. Of course, us humans don’t like listening all that much and we aren’t known to be very good at it either. But our dear God is extremely gracious and patient and kind… He gently reminds us (not always so gently) time and time again about HIS plans and HIS purposes for our lives. And might I remind us that those plans and purposes far exceed anything that we could come up with on our own! Now if only we’d listen…
THE NEXT STEP THAT WE SO EASILY IGNORE IS OBEDIENCE. SIMPLY DOING WHAT WE HEARD HIM SAY.
The incredible thing about living under the rule and reign of King Jesus is that He helps us. When we do choose to listen and we do choose to obey, his Holy Spirit empowers us. Suddenly we find ourselves capable of doing things that seemed impossible and living in such a way that was totally out of our reach before! But it takes those tough decisions and difficult first steps to see that.
SO, WHAT DOES LISTENING AND OBEDIENCE HAVE TO DO WITH A SPIRITUAL BATTLE?
Well, let me put it simply. Your obedience is a real threat to Satan.
See, since the time of Adam and Eve, Satan has been trying to put a great divide in the relationship God has created us for. A relationship with Him in which we were meant to rule and reign as God’s image here on earth. Since that time, the enemy has been trying to take our purpose, cripple us, and ultimately take down who we are as God’s creation. I’d say he’s done quite a lot of damage in that area too. But… and this is a big BUT… Jesus made a way!
It is no longer impossible to have a close relationship with God. Jesus came so that our relationship could be restored! This means we can walk with Him and talk with Him throughout our daily lives again.
WE GET TO EXPERIENCE A LITTLE OF THAT ORIGINAL PLAN AND PURPOSE!
Sadly, we still live in a world devastated by the destruction the enemy has caused. When we walk in obedience and with purpose, others in this broken world are drawn in. They want to know who you know and live like you live! Now that is a stench to Satan’s nostrils!
WE ARE LIKE GIANT MAGNETS FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD, AND SATAN ISN’T BUYING INTO IT.
This is the spiritual battle.
He will give you every reason he can not to listen to God. And he will find every way he can to distract you, lure you, scare you, and make you quit! However… it’s ultimately YOUR choice, not his.
For me this looks like constantly choosing to follow what I know God has said, in the face of the enemies lies and tactics. Choosing to be where I know God has placed me. And in this season… I am to JUST BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD.
So this is my conclusion.
The unsettledness I feel, the need to be where I’m not, the procrastination, the longing to be busy, and the insane difficulty I have just being…
It’s all just a decoy to get me to be where I’m not supposed to be in this season of my life.
God said, “Be here, now.” And while I would have loved to hear him say it at any other point in my life, this is the most challenging thing in the world to me right now. Why? Because I want to obey. And Satan doesn’t like that.
I need to learn to BE HERE.
Who knew that being still isn’t just doing nothing after all?! Because in those still moments when I choose to obey, God is doing something. Something that I can sense but cannot even begin to explain!